Does death scare you?
Life scares me. This constant fear of living but not loving, loving but not being loved, being loved but not accepting the reality, accepting the reality, but it hurts. Families, friends, colleagues, teachers - all these relationships generated by the social construct can't protect us from being alone, dying alone, or vanishing away from memories. Do I wish to be remembered after I am gone? Would it even matter? Or am I too scared to walk out of this mechanism of fear instilled in me? Life is too short? No, I wish it was shorter. Short enough to skip these thoughts, short enough to forgive others, short enough to step outside and breathe fresh air, short enough to genuinely live and love.
While I sit on my balcony
Gazing at these people-
Living another solid sunset
As I lose my glamour behind.
These little souls full of life
Burning with zeal infinite-
Willingness to heal
And hurt at the same time;
The old ladies in their balconies
Mulling over the sky-
Cursing their present or reminiscing past...
Or maybe they are happy with who they are;
I see these cars, bikes, and rickshaws
And random passer-bys.
I keep looking,
Looking and looking
Until the sun finally says goodbye.
The home's been blank,
Like sheets of paper, these past few days.
So again, I choose to sit on the balcony
To learn what the world does to survive.
Watching these people day by day,
Watching these lunars go by,
As my body stops growing
But not growing old...
My home - still blank,
So I can't help but ask myself
Who would sit at my grave?
Could I ask these birds
To keep me company,
And sing when I feel down?
Will these children spare some time
To share their jokes with me?
Will these women leave their homes
And share their stories
When I want to sleep but am lying awake?
A sudden relief hit me as I realized I won't have a grave.
I would simply be washed away into infinity
And beyond the reach of humans
Just like my thoughts
As I watch the sunset.